My parents, my grandparents and basically all of my family supported me to collect the funds for me to reach a good university. I was supposed to be excellent, scores high, someone to be proud of. Yet because of that, I became too lazy, not even trying to reach higher. I became addicted to games, anime and manga, while leaving my studies behind. I thought I would have no problem in my life at all. And so, I kept doing whatever I like, despite those warning from the people around me.
Well, that ends today. This isn't because I was told to change or anything (well actually I was), but it is because of my near-failure in this important junction of my life. I should have been able to enter one of the best university in Indonesia, ITB. However, I was too stubborn to study, and believe that I would surely be accepted even without studying. Because of that, now I failed that entrance exam. I thought of applying a scholarship to japan (monbukagakusho), yet I was slumped by my school report. My average was 76, lower that what was needed, 80. If only I tried harder.
Now I am feeling guilty to my mother, who are having a fight with her brothers and sister because of my failure.... I don't know what else to do... I feel so pathetic right now....
Well, I guess I still have one more chance. One more university exam for me, the NIFEE program from Shizuoka University. If I failed this, I really am the worst.
Here's my exam score, for reference. It's not that bad, it's just wasn't good enough:
